Coach Marston's Comments
April 22, 2004
On every dry erase board in Conference USA locker rooms there is written, "Dani rules the world." She was the social leader on the team. She always had a fun game for everyone to play - like skiing on the back of an SUV in the middle of a parking lot during a snow storm. She loved 80s music and 80s hair. Dani requested extra reps before each home match. She was the first of a couple of players who wanted to play with the coaches before practices. She was part of our leadership group that was working on getting the whole team headed in the right direction. She was a dynamic personality on the court. When she hit and jump served, her legs would go out like a jumping jack. She liked to tease everyone, including me. When I was pregnant, she was sure to tell me how big I was looking. She was sure to tease me about how old I am -- we played a radio game in the vans where you scanned for a station and if you could name the band or the song, or sing it you would get a point...a song came up and I got excited cause I knew it and it was "my era"...Dani didn't know it but she yelled out, "Neil Diamond"...it was U2. I was stunned...I was shocked that anyone wouldn't know U2! Then, I looked back in the mirror and saw a sly little smile on her face. She was teasing me. She was horrible at sitting the bench - she would sulk. She was a fantastic starter - she was light and energetic. She was such a free spirit that it was physically impossible for her to follow the rules that someone else set for her. Therefore, she got in trouble every now and then. But, it was so hard to stay upset with her for long because she would say something that would make me laugh. She consistently surprised me with how direct she communicated with me; sometimes it unsettled me but mostly I respected her for it. She was a unique player to coach; I teased and she teased me back; she was edgy, but still fun loving and happy; she found humor in every situation. She loved life, volleyball, her teammates and her friends deeply.
I am having a hard time knowing what I'm feeling about Dani's death. One thing that I'm sure of is that I have been profoundly touched by the events of the last 10 days. I have gotten to know Dani and her teammates and friends better than I probably ever would have. There's an old saying, "Show me your friends and I'll show you what kind of person you are." In the last 10 days I have been shown Dani's friends. Mainly I have seen her teammates and their emotions about her. I have been overwhelmed. Dani's teammates, past and present, have been so real, so loving, so caring, so supportive, so uplifting, and at times so funny. If your friends reflect the kind of person that you are, then Dani was all these things. She was real. She was loving and caring. She was uplifting and most of the time she was hilarious.
A lesson that I have learned in the last 10 days is just how strongly I feel for my players. You are family to me. And, like most families we may tease each other and occasionally one member may have her foot up another member's hiney, but there is always love. Please never doubt that.
There's one last thing that I would like to leave you with. This semester, I had all of the players come up with a personal goal. They also had to come up with 10 obstacles to their goal. The idea is that once you know what is standing in your way you can develop the tools to overcome them. Dani's goal was to be an All-American libero. There was something about the way that she presented her goal that you just knew that she would do it. One of the most interesting strategies to overcoming her obstacles was to "make a name for herself." We talked about various ways to do this so that the Conference USA coaches would remember her and vote for her in all-conference voting. Isn't it interesting that one of her strategies had already been accomplished? Maybe she didn't realize it and maybe we all didn't realize it then, but we do now. Dani has made a name for herself in the hearts of everyone who knew her. My hope is that, in time, Dani's name won't bring us sadness, but will inspire us. Maybe I will be able to find humor in a serious situation. Maybe you will be the one that comes up with some fun activity to do on a random afternoon. Maybe we will find a way to connect with the people close to us. Maybe we will come in for extra reps whether that's in our sport, job or relationships. Maybe each of us will live each day to its fullest and become the kind of person that everyone wants to be around.
I don't understand why this had to happen and I don't think I ever will. But, I'm pretty sure that Dani will be the voice in my head telling me to lighten up and have some fun and for that I'm thankful. I will always love Dani and will never be able to forget her.
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